Bondage threads grow stronger

Queenstown is more expensive than even Auckland, food costs are outrageous - so is accommodation, especially if you can even find anything in town. There's no jobs, and going out for dinner is insane- in 2 months I've not even had a proper dinner out ONCE. A plate of beer battered fries were $10 and not as good as all that.
And there's no snow.

Well, hardly any.

Which makes it pointless to waste my money on the tiny hills HERE....

It keeps missing us, and going north, where there's bigger and more hills, more jobs, more and cheaper accomodations, way cheaper food - at grocers AND at restaurants.

But a thread keeps tripping me. Wrappin around my toe hold of hope, my pinkie of ideas.... and now it need not be there.

And then EVERY. Single. Day. ... I open the curtains and am re-shocked! The view really *IS* **THAT** ** GOOD ** !!

Laugh.... > I am (--laughing). I am highly amused, and have been through it all. The holding line was the bondage of 'feeling'- to STAY, even when Mind reasoned it all out to going, time and again, mind yappin on... I've learned many enough times not to fight the unknown true reasoning behind FEELING, - the feeling of when to stay, when to go, over mind's blabbering on.... The depth of intuition, that is in touch with the things that are coming... with possibilities, and grace.

First helped along by finding a magically gifted place to live, then this sex-store saviour job. The young funky gorgeous manager, Pri, said it best - something along the lines of a little hiding place in all this Queenstown madness.
I've enjoyed cooking. LOTS. Can't go out - I've spent TONS on food anyhow, but on healthy joyous foods.

They love me here at work, and I keep getting extra shifts which helps. Or little graces like consulting at a craaaaazy passion party. Usually 10 is a good number of people... This party had **30** and they were teens and early 20's girls- drinking and carousing and playing games and a few being belligerant drinking louses but *30* of em! It was a bit more than 'crazy' to try to involve in a passion party.... don't know what that is? Think tupperware party for selling sex toys, where we play fun games. And they drank.

One of their mates crashed our party, dressed in a FULL horse costume! HA! So I grabbed the strap on, and made him wear it while we played ring toss for a prize! Alas, the prize was not the hung horse, I had to let the poor thing go. LAUGH! Great party, though exhausting; in my usual way- may as well throw me into the fire.

I make commissions on sales at these parties ;) Which sure is more than the barely more than minimum wage I make hourly at the store.... Not that i mind terribly. It's a bit more than minimum, and I love working here. Sure I make FAR less than in Canada, but I'm learning that I can actually KEEP my job if it's the right one. Not only that, I've doubled their highest ever day's sales, my first full shift here. I've done bar promos, and workshops. I designed a business card and other promo stuff. At long last, it's another job I LOVE to come to, and feel great cause they love me. Also, we have lots and lots of IDEAS, which is GREAT! (Oh, we hope to MOVE locations, out of this awful place... oh I could beat their sound system with a bat...or a big black toy! FWWWHAOOP! Same 2 cds, day in and day out.

More good tidings: I've gotten involved in the Saturday local arts n crafts market. At many years' long last, I'm doing tarot and palm readings, and massage, at the market. With hopes to travel and make some money with it. For now it's a Saturday dressed in near every layer I have, breathing fresh air, and hangin out. I'm waiting to hear about some work at the high end spa - reception and maybe giving massage (though I'm shying away from the massage part now, due to pay vs intensity of massage work). AND I've got an interview next week- to be a guide.

I went walking two hours along the lake yesterday. Misty foggy dark n grey. I love it! Birds are arriving, cormorants and things that look like a cormorant but with a mohawk hairdo.... I walked and planned and think of taking off to do a winter version great walk. It'll happen if I find a good sleeping bag! Wonderful dreams here. Wonderful possibilities. Doesn't matter what happens, what falls through - it keeps building, more forward than back. Doesn't matter either, there's a gorgeous country out here to visit. A tiny glimpse for a bday wander made me gasp at it. Gorgeous. I'm ok being still for now though... There's this wonderful fulfillment of hoped for stillness - of really getting the feel of one place, of enjoying having a base.

And of course, cooking. Gourmet burgers with roasted pumpkin on multigrain bread, topped with fried egg and sauteed onion and mushroom. First try of Jambalaya- chicken and roasted sausage. Made yogurt last night. Made granola. Made stew from my own chicken base. Craved Thai so made a creamy green thai sauce (though I'd love to get out for REAL Thai!)

I feel good today. After only a few lovely days of downpour rain, the sun is back and it's cool and fresh out. I've found cheap merino clothes, and more I hope to go back and buy. I got called into work this morning (extra hrs!)- dusted (shoulda tried on the super cute maid costume!), updated the computer security, fixed the business card design, put my money where my mouth is and joined the Green Party in Canada, making a clear stance not only with hidden quiet donation, but joining. Now I'm updating here. I'll go on facebook and start a page for this store. Maybe I'll pop out to the fudge shop next door and say hi (and get a taste of fudge!).

I'm also taking a break from the depth of soul changes and incredible life-adjustments, helped on by this wonderful thought-provoking book I'm reading ("The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" by Sue Monk Kidd). I'm taking a 'fun break', and reading this VERY STRANGE and easy to just blitz- chill read book. "A Dirty Job" by Christopher Moore... the guy who wrote "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" (which I'd *LOVE* to find!). It's about this geeky guy becoming Death. As in the Noun, not the verb.

The only things, really, that's not so great is a bit of boredom/ missing having any friends to hang with, the over-eating that seems to be accompanying that, and a lump that I've got to call insurance about, and get to a doctor over. Bah. Probably an annoying ingrown hair that's gotten too deep, but either way, it's a painful annoying lump. But hey, that's part of life and traveling too. It's not mango flies under the skin anyways!

Did I mention I move in ONE week...ahh, probably back to hostel livin for a bit. There ARE more places opening up, which I'll look at.... but I don't mind waiting, use the $$ on a hoped for ski-wander.... It's getting that much warmer though, more and more making me want to set up that tent....

xoxo